That she’s never had a patient have an easy pregnancy, birth, and post-partum. This after I said that pregnancy had gone really well so far. Well, birth went relatively well… so all that’s left is now. I’m in a couple of mom chats so I know that I’m not the only one having a hard time, but I definitely feel like I’m the only person with this issue.
The good: I feel so incredibly lucky to have y’all, my community, supporting me, my husband’s doing as much as he is, but oh my gosh. Calvin’s a month and a week old now! He’s gaining weight, he’s adorable,and calm, and growing! He’s started smiling at all regularly and making cute little noises that might be cooing. He’s sleeping longer stretches and I’ve finally figured out how to latch the kid (sort of). I’ve found ways to pass the time pumping, I’ve read a lot of Anne Lammott (thanks Carrie), and I’ve gotten to feel so connected to each family bringing me a meal, sending me an email, or text. Sorry if I haven’t written back. The bad: I’ve had a lump in my breast for almost a month, and no amount of heat, massage, pumping has made it go away, it’s gotten worse and worse. I’ve called in, written my doctors but because of COVID, it’s been really hard to get seen. They tell me to heat, massage, and pump and check back in in 3 days. I’m terrible at seeking help, but when the pain started shooting towards my arm and the lump raised and became purple, I finally sent a photo to all the doctors. One doctor said to heat pack, take this OTC supplement. The advice nurse said to heat pack more and pump. And finally, someone filling in for my OBG said he thought it was time for me to be seen in person. I was so relieved I cried. I went in yesterday, my suspicion that this was more than a clog was confirmed, went back today to have it addressed, and will be going back again to tomorrow morning for an ultrasound and exam. I’ll skip the details cause it’s gross. This has been the most excruciating, painful part of this journey so far, but I am so happy that something is happening and that I’m being treated now. I can’t wait till I can fully enjoy holding and feeding Calvin without pain, and I can marvel and complain about normal new parent stuff. John’s going back to work in 5 days…

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