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A Year and Lifetime

By the time I get home from work, there's just not enough time to be with him before bedtime.  He's been doing this thing where in the middle of his bedtime song, he looks up and gives me a kiss, then lets me keep singing.  When he's really tired and I'm patting him to calm him down, he does this little sloth hook arm as he drifts off.  How many years do I get to soak in his sweetness? to hear his joyful laughter? He just recently learned to give hugs, first to his Hobbes stuffy, then to us.  He's also began to sleep earlier and earlier like a normal kid.  Giving me more time to do stuff, but less time with him. 

I recently stumbled upon a photo that my brother posted of the day we left Hong Kong to immigrate.  My little brother, at 2 years old, was being held by one of my many aunts, and he has that same cute blank open eyed look that Calvin often carries in new situations.  I think about how different our live may have been if we had stayed.  How our relationships with my family may have been different.  I think about how happy when I see them and how hard it is to communicate with my limited Cantonese. I want Calvin to be able to speak Cantonese but it not actually enable him to connect with our extended family. It's like a last ditch effort to hold on what connects us to Hong Kong.  


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